I hate when nature calls an hour or so before you have to get up in the morning. It's precisely what happened to me this morning. As I'm sitting there---and it hasn't dawned on me at this point that today's Columbus Day---I realize the stupidity of arguments the left puts out about different people. My thought pattern begins with Thomas Jefferson.
Jefferson was an undeniably great leader among the Founding Fathers, and was at least an above average president. Yet people seek to diminish his accomplishments by spouting off crap about Jefferson making it with some of his slaves. As I was pondering these things, I came to the following conclusions:
1) We know the left relies on revisionist history. Therefore, why do we take this as fact? Do we really have medical records---or any other kinds of records---that show Jefferson did this? We don't have a birth certificate for Obama, but we have paternity tests from the 1700's?
2) Columbus Day pisses me off. When I was in kindergarten and 1st and 2nd grade, I learned about the importance of his discovery---yes, other groups were here before he was, but no, they don't count because they didn't belong to a society that placed importance on discovery and recording said discoveries---and what it meant to the "world" and how it laid the foundations for everything that happened here. I didn't learn about the evil, genocodial, maniacal Columbus. This wasn't because they were protecting little kids from hard truth, it's because it was 1986 and we still had a few teachers around then who weren't completely out of their gourds. Moral of the story: I do not believe 90% of the garbage spoken as truth about Columbus, mainly because most of it's the former and little of it's the latter. So if I don't buy the premise about Columbus, why would I accept it on Jefferson?
3) If Jefferson did take part in such activities---and I'm not saying he didn't, I'm simply not taking it for granted that he did---why should that invalidate his other achievements? How does that work: Oh, guess what, the founders were actually flawed men, since they weren't perfect I guess that means they were failures, bet you feel stupid, huh? (If that sentence sucks to read, it's probably a good insight into how the mind of a liberal works). Since when did being imperfect mean that anything you ever accomplished was pointless? I mean, geez, it's the left: being a screw up in your personal life is a resume enhancer to them!
So as I'm seeing links on different sites today with titles like, "Columbus' Dark Side" emerging and some of the trends on Twitter (yes, I use it, let me know if you want to add me and we can swap handles), I'm wondering if it was a prophetic morning or just a coinkydink. But I found this article and it makes me feel that all of this has some greater point. And that scares me, because if all these thoughts are preparing me for something that's coming my way, I know whatever it is is going to suck.
Happy Columbus Day.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Nobel Prizes and other news
The Nobel Prize. While the proper reaction was, "Holy s*^#!" or "WTF?!", my actual response was laughter. I mean really, what can you do at this point? Here are my thoughts on the big prize:
1. It's too bad Copenhagen isn't in Norway.
2. They gave the prize to Al Gore for committing fraud. We shouldn't even be batting our eyes over this.
3. They gave one to Yassir Arafat. If they'll give a peace prize to the father of "modern" terrorism, they'll give it to anybody.
4. They gave one to Jimmy Carter, so there's already a precedent for awarding dumbassery.
5. People are complaining about the fact that they gave it to Bam without him accomplishing anything yet. The fact that he hasn't accomplished anything of merit in the first nine months means nothing. The final nominations were in February. He'd done even less in twelve days.
To summarize, the Nobel Prize is like the Grammys or Academy Awards: the legitimacy train left the depot a long time ago. If you want to talk about something that's a crock or a joke, it's Obama's, "I'm humbled, I don't deserve it" routine. That's the outrageous part.
In other news...
What? You mean the government take over didn't fix everything?! Get right the stink out! What's that you say? Unemployed people can't afford cars? Shazam!
Hey, you wanna know something else that's funny? You know those people who are really loyal to certain brands? In your case, those are largely the common, everday, working class people in "flyover country." You've completely alienated them because those people don't go for this kind of crap! Good luck on improving sales!
We're trying to get these people in here to hand them free benefits and healthcare, and you're trying to uphold laws?! Knock it off!
Hey, here's a shocker: ACORN was full of crap and embezzled more money than previously claimed. Speaking of embezzlement and fraud, it's gotten more expensive in the past year to cut enough carbon to stop global warming. I mean, if it was me, I'd check the temperature, recognize that IT'S NOT FREAKING RISING, and call the whole thing off, but that's me.
America's starting to remind me of the Griswold's house on Christmas Vacation. Everything was beautiful and well kept for the longest time, then the riff raff and a-holes move in and take over. Pretty soon, the joint's such a dump that folks can't wait to get out of there. And lemme tell you something, there are a few spots on the globe that are looking better all the time.
1. It's too bad Copenhagen isn't in Norway.
2. They gave the prize to Al Gore for committing fraud. We shouldn't even be batting our eyes over this.
3. They gave one to Yassir Arafat. If they'll give a peace prize to the father of "modern" terrorism, they'll give it to anybody.
4. They gave one to Jimmy Carter, so there's already a precedent for awarding dumbassery.
5. People are complaining about the fact that they gave it to Bam without him accomplishing anything yet. The fact that he hasn't accomplished anything of merit in the first nine months means nothing. The final nominations were in February. He'd done even less in twelve days.
To summarize, the Nobel Prize is like the Grammys or Academy Awards: the legitimacy train left the depot a long time ago. If you want to talk about something that's a crock or a joke, it's Obama's, "I'm humbled, I don't deserve it" routine. That's the outrageous part.
In other news...
What? You mean the government take over didn't fix everything?! Get right the stink out! What's that you say? Unemployed people can't afford cars? Shazam!
Hey, you wanna know something else that's funny? You know those people who are really loyal to certain brands? In your case, those are largely the common, everday, working class people in "flyover country." You've completely alienated them because those people don't go for this kind of crap! Good luck on improving sales!
We're trying to get these people in here to hand them free benefits and healthcare, and you're trying to uphold laws?! Knock it off!
Hey, here's a shocker: ACORN was full of crap and embezzled more money than previously claimed. Speaking of embezzlement and fraud, it's gotten more expensive in the past year to cut enough carbon to stop global warming. I mean, if it was me, I'd check the temperature, recognize that IT'S NOT FREAKING RISING, and call the whole thing off, but that's me.
America's starting to remind me of the Griswold's house on Christmas Vacation. Everything was beautiful and well kept for the longest time, then the riff raff and a-holes move in and take over. Pretty soon, the joint's such a dump that folks can't wait to get out of there. And lemme tell you something, there are a few spots on the globe that are looking better all the time.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Why did I not know about this?!
I'm 29 years old, and I've only just now heard the story about Jimmy Carter being attacked by a swamp rabbit.
In a related story, I now have a laughter induced hernia.
In a related story, I now have a laughter induced hernia.
Wait for it, wait for it...
...BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
What a complete and abject failure! This is awesome!
Aw, come on, don't hate me for laughing. Buck up there, kids, it's not like this is his first international embarrassment. I'm sure it won't be the last, either.
What a complete and abject failure! This is awesome!
Aw, come on, don't hate me for laughing. Buck up there, kids, it's not like this is his first international embarrassment. I'm sure it won't be the last, either.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Links a go go!
I know I'm a little behind with some of these, but I still wanted to comment on them.
Whoopi, are your dreads too tight, or are you just a complete moron? Why in the world would anyone listen to you? How are you even considered employable? Even for The View, which is a show for mouth-breathers by mouth-breathers, you're an idiot. I'm amazed that you're not relegated to cleaning car windshields at a stop light somewhere. You already have the sense of style for it.
Hey Messiah: People actually expect you to make decisions now. That means doing something beyond voting "present." You might want to start by talking to your field generals once in awhile. Don't get me wrong, I know when you get an opportunity to combine your (supposed)love of sports and a chance to further line your pockets you've gotta go for it, but come on now. Just because some people show they actually don't care about the military doesn't mean nobody does.
Speaking of the Olympics trip, I'm really glad for Michelle's continuous accounts of how difficult her life is. You take a trip, turn it into a huge production, and it's all paid for with other people's money...man, your life does suck. But thank you for your tireless efforts for kids. Between your efforts and Whoopi's contributions, I'm sure the days will be brighter for our children.
Enjoy this entry from the "No S*^#, Sherlock!" Files.
At the time of this writing, there's a picture of Michael Moore on the Drudge Report. He's actually gotten fatter. I mean, he's officially past, "Holy s*^#!" I won't link to that because I can't really suggest anyone look at the guy. But if you have a strong stomach and you're the type that enjoys the view when you come upon a car wreck, then go have at it.
Speaking of obesity, no wonder kids are fat. Also, since you statists are doing such a good job of bring up kids and everything, here's a suggestion: why don't you just mind your own damn business?
And that's not all I got, but those are the highlights (lowlights?). God help us all.
Whoopi, are your dreads too tight, or are you just a complete moron? Why in the world would anyone listen to you? How are you even considered employable? Even for The View, which is a show for mouth-breathers by mouth-breathers, you're an idiot. I'm amazed that you're not relegated to cleaning car windshields at a stop light somewhere. You already have the sense of style for it.
Hey Messiah: People actually expect you to make decisions now. That means doing something beyond voting "present." You might want to start by talking to your field generals once in awhile. Don't get me wrong, I know when you get an opportunity to combine your (supposed)love of sports and a chance to further line your pockets you've gotta go for it, but come on now. Just because some people show they actually don't care about the military doesn't mean nobody does.
Speaking of the Olympics trip, I'm really glad for Michelle's continuous accounts of how difficult her life is. You take a trip, turn it into a huge production, and it's all paid for with other people's money...man, your life does suck. But thank you for your tireless efforts for kids. Between your efforts and Whoopi's contributions, I'm sure the days will be brighter for our children.
Enjoy this entry from the "No S*^#, Sherlock!" Files.
At the time of this writing, there's a picture of Michael Moore on the Drudge Report. He's actually gotten fatter. I mean, he's officially past, "Holy s*^#!" I won't link to that because I can't really suggest anyone look at the guy. But if you have a strong stomach and you're the type that enjoys the view when you come upon a car wreck, then go have at it.
Speaking of obesity, no wonder kids are fat. Also, since you statists are doing such a good job of bring up kids and everything, here's a suggestion: why don't you just mind your own damn business?
And that's not all I got, but those are the highlights (lowlights?). God help us all.
Current Events and Hank Williams, Jr.
Sometimes, when I'm especially ticked over the state of the country (and the world in general), I get to the point where I have to play a few select Hank Jr. songs. And let me tell you, it's Bocephus day at work today. In case you've never realized it, the man should be considered the poet laureate of conservatism. Here are some suggested offerings based on the situation you may be facing:
When you're tired of liberals sticking their nose in your business and tell you they know what's best for you: The Coalition to Ban Coalitions
"This is a coalition to ban coalitions/I ain't a politician but I've got views/Some folks want to ban cars/some want to get rid of Fender guitars/Why don't you do your thing and we do our thing too/Now they want to take my cigarettes and all my good whiskey/And these damn coalitions they're after you and me"
When you're tired of the rich, uptight, snobby, elitist, coastal snobs looking down on you: The American Way
"If you don't like my Nudie boots I'm sorry about that/Don't make fun of my hat too/Or you might get knocked flat/And you'll learn some more, If you ever pass down our way/About the folks without the dollars, And without white collars/Hell, they are the American way!"
When you realize that sometimes words aren't enough to solve your problems: I'd Love to Knock the Hell Out of You:
"Oh I'd love to knock the hell out of you/And if you keep messin around I'm going to/So if you're looking for trouble/Tell you what you do/Come over and get the shit knocked out of you/Now I have always been a peaceful man/But I get hostile if you screw up my plans/ Do unto others as you like done to you/Believe me brother that is the golden rule"
And then of course there's A Country Boy Can Survive, but that's pretty much a song for all occassions.
One thing that's prompted the playlist is that I recently caught flack from a self-proclaimed conservative who writes for a local newspaper. Long story short, he gave great examples of why newspapers are a dying art and one of the Republican party's many problems: people who, if they do have principles, couldn't articulate them if their life depended on it. And one of the morals I've taken from this story is that conservatives need to figure out who's for us and who's against us. Once you figure that out, you better have the backs of the people that are on your side.
Which is why, to the following people, I say I'm One of You:
This lady was epic, and I'm with her.
California farmers, I'm on your side.
Andy Williams, you rock.
Navajoes, I'm with you!
Joe Wilson, I'm with you!
When you're tired of liberals sticking their nose in your business and tell you they know what's best for you: The Coalition to Ban Coalitions
"This is a coalition to ban coalitions/I ain't a politician but I've got views/Some folks want to ban cars/some want to get rid of Fender guitars/Why don't you do your thing and we do our thing too/Now they want to take my cigarettes and all my good whiskey/And these damn coalitions they're after you and me"
When you're tired of the rich, uptight, snobby, elitist, coastal snobs looking down on you: The American Way
"If you don't like my Nudie boots I'm sorry about that/Don't make fun of my hat too/Or you might get knocked flat/And you'll learn some more, If you ever pass down our way/About the folks without the dollars, And without white collars/Hell, they are the American way!"
When you realize that sometimes words aren't enough to solve your problems: I'd Love to Knock the Hell Out of You:
"Oh I'd love to knock the hell out of you/And if you keep messin around I'm going to/So if you're looking for trouble/Tell you what you do/Come over and get the shit knocked out of you/Now I have always been a peaceful man/But I get hostile if you screw up my plans/ Do unto others as you like done to you/Believe me brother that is the golden rule"
And then of course there's A Country Boy Can Survive, but that's pretty much a song for all occassions.
One thing that's prompted the playlist is that I recently caught flack from a self-proclaimed conservative who writes for a local newspaper. Long story short, he gave great examples of why newspapers are a dying art and one of the Republican party's many problems: people who, if they do have principles, couldn't articulate them if their life depended on it. And one of the morals I've taken from this story is that conservatives need to figure out who's for us and who's against us. Once you figure that out, you better have the backs of the people that are on your side.
Which is why, to the following people, I say I'm One of You:
This lady was epic, and I'm with her.
California farmers, I'm on your side.
Andy Williams, you rock.
Navajoes, I'm with you!
Joe Wilson, I'm with you!
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