Monday, August 31, 2009

Two Thoughts for the Day

1. Netanyahu's going to meet with Madonna. Either the Israeli PM has an adminstrative assistant who needs fired or they think someone named Madonna is the ambassador from Morocco.

Now that I think of it, what does one the layperson (and she puts the lay in layperson) wear to meet a head of state? I'm guessing her style could be referred to as skank swank.

2. Is anybody outside of the press surprised to see the crappy news coming out of Afghanistan? The guy in charge's military knowledge doesn't extend past what he used to see on The A-Team, and people expect him to be competent running a war? I wouldn't let Barry run bath water.

Catching up

Remember the good old days when news was slow over a weekend? If there was a major announcement to make it would come during the week so everyone would hear it. Now it seems like most of the news happens over the weekend so no one notices it. I think this is because Democrats are responsible for most of it right now, they know it sucks and nobody's going to like it, so they try to get it through unnoticed. I mostly blame Obama for this, because if I've learned anything the last nine years, it's that the President's responsible for everything we don't like. Also, Obama actually is the master of this maneuver.

So among the things we missed this weekend is word that this site may get shut down before long. I know they say he could utilize it "in an emergency," but let's face it, liberals don't really grasp concepts like "emergency," or "choice," or "necessary." For example, they're always yapping on about how they'll only get us into a war "if absolutely necessary." Yet when somebody flies a plane into a building they don't see the need to take the perpetrators out. I mean, they make take them out for dancing or dinner, but not with a .357 or anything like that. So basically, if Barry gets this power, and I'm sure he will, you can expect all your favorite web sites to go bye-bye. Because Barry doesn't like competition. It kinda makes you wonder what going to his basketball games was like, doesn't it?

One thing I was absolutely shocked to learn was that Ted Kennedy's funeral was Saturday. Seriously, would anybody have expected them to do it on a day when they knew nobody would be watching CNN? People only watch CNN during the know, the times when everybody else is working. So I missed it, which is probably a good thing because I need to watch my blood pressure. I heard they had a prayer, which seems ironic, but other than that I don't know much about what happened and I have questions. Did they use a hearse or the Budweiser clydesdales?

I have a dozen of them, but I'll stop there.

Then, finally, there's this. Just when you thought there was nothing in the paper worth reading.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

A Headline and the Guano Loco Theme Song

You'll remember during the Michael Jackson aftermath that I was really disgusted by a lot of the negative comments made about the deceased. Basically, I was always taught not to speak ill of the recently departed, and I lamented the fact that apparently next to no one else was raised with the same manners. So with that in mind, I'm trying really hard to watch what I say about Ted Kennedy. So I'll just acknowledged he's passed, and move on.

So with that done, let's move on and unveil the Guano Loco theme song. It was inspired by something that profoundly influenced my childhood:

We’ll fight for freedom wherever there’s trouble
Guano Loco is here!
Guano Loco, against liberal zeroes!
Guano Loco is here!
It’s Guano Loco against Libs and Commies
Fighting to save the day
We’ll never give up, we’re always there!
Making fun of Obama and Biden’s hair!
Guano Loco, against liberal zeroes
Guano Loco is here!
Guano Loco is the name of a sarcastic, informative Pro-American blog. Its purpose: to defend human freedom against liberals, a ruthless pack of lying hyenas determined to rule the world.
We’ll never give up, we’ll stay til the fight’s won
Guano Loco is here!
Guano Loco!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

This guy freaking rules

Rush Limbaugh ran this yesterday. I can't say enough about this guy. I wish I could talk to people and stand up like this. What I can't figure out is how he got home from his deployment. He surely can't fly; any plane would be weighed down by his huge balls.

That's right, I made that joke. He earned it.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Connect the dots

In case you missed it, Barry gave $2 million of our tax dollars to Brazil so they can drill for oil. We can't drill for our own, but I guess he figures it's cool for them to take care of themselves.

Guess who increased their investment with the Brazillian oil company that's benefitting from Barry's benevolence?

George Soros.

Good to know

What in the world? Yeah, so does shooting a deer!

See, this is why I hesitate at government funding for scientific research. Every once in awhile you get a study by some mongoloids who want to refute conventional wisdom.

"See Timmy, STD's aren't all bad!"

Can you imagine this subject being covered in one of those sex ed videos that were done in the 60s?


I've seen a lot of people---well, two---who support government healthcare who can't fathom how anyone can be opposed to this. One idiot even went so far as comparing it to the school lunch program---no one complains about it, he said---to support the idea. Might as well hit the ground running, he said, you have to walk before you crawl.

Yeah, I know.

So when people ask me, "Gee, Justin, how can you be opposed to this? Don't you know how important it is for everyone have healthcare?" I say nay. Here's one of a myriad of reasons why. There are three things to take from this.

1) If you think Social Security payments are lowering now, wait until all the money set aside for SS goes to Healthcare.
2) The government has a deal with the people. They're breaking it. Why will this be any different?
3) If the government can't run what they already have, why should we trust them with more?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

How have I never heard about this until now?

I haven't posted much this week because A) it's been busy at work, and 2) my internet has been down at home the last couple of evenings. I was just doing a little lite reading and came across this.

Seriously, how have I not heard about this before?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Excellence in Education

I just saw this story on Drudge, where it has a somewhat misleading headline. The Drudge headline says, "City bans BB guns, bats, clubs to increase school safety." In seeing that, I moved this place up to number 3 on my list of "Crapholes I Would Barely Want to Visit" list. Any town where a kid can't shoot a bb gun or play baseball isn't any place I'd even want to stop to take a leak in.

Let me just cut to the chase: I have a number of theories of why it seems like more kids are more screwed up now today than they ever have been in the past. And it seems that way because it's true. But my theories range from parental involvement (in one extreme or the other) to the fact that cartoons today suck. If kids today aren't shooting bb guns or playing baseball, then there's another problem.

As it turns out, the school in this little hamlet is simply banning bb guns, baseball bats, and things of the like being brought to school without "a legitimate purpose." Once I read that, I had another reaction entirely.

No $*^#, Sherlock! You think it might be a good idea to keep kids from bringing pellet guns and fireworks to school? Good God, I bet their next idea is that reading may be beneficial to students.

You don't have to be head oil drainer down at the Jiffy Lube to figure out that a school isn't the best place for a kid to take their pellet gun or Roman candle. Those types of things are after school entertainment. I can fault schools for a lot of things...and I mean a lot of things...a lo-hoh-hoh-hoh-hot of things, but this isn't one of them.

This is almost common sense.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Should've gotten Snoop's attorney

Guess there's no doubting this guy's street cred.

I would have loved to have heard statements from the defense in this case. I mean, when you're on trial for murder with that name, that's kind of like a punting from your own endzone, right?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Catching Up...

I took a few days off at the end of last week and went to rural America where I was without internet for four days. And I've got to be honest: I missed having internet access exactly once. It was really refreshing. I thought during that time I had heard John Hughes passed away, and I was saddened to have it confirmed once I did get back to computer land. Big Hollywood has some pretty good tributes here, here, and here. The Ben Stein interview is worth watching, too. RIP, Mr. Hughes.

By the way, I really miss John Candy.

In case you missed it, there's a new set of words omitted from college textbooks. It's almost comical how easy these people get their panties in a twist over nothing. Then again, when you're the type of person who sees a ballerina as a tough guy, it probably doesn't take much to upset you.

I just wanted to give kudos to this web site. From what I've read in the past few weeks, when something needs to be hit, he hits hard. He also has decency, which is hard to find in the blogosphere. And he's often pretty stinking funny. Be sure to check out the post "Video Project: Stand Together for Liberty" and the entry immediately below it for a couple of my recent favorites.

Finally, I've gotten some really nice comments over the past month or so, and I wanted to say thanks for the kindness. However, you all are going to have to quit with the accolades or you're going to get me on the gov't watch list.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Clinton's trip to North Korea probably marks the first time he ever went to pick up a couple of girls and everyone was okay with it.

The community organizer is whining about people organizing against something they don't like? That's cute.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Rahmbo and other sissies

I'm going to take back one bad thing I've said about California just because of Darrell Issa. It's about time somebody's showing some testicular fortitude. I mean, I know Rahm's apparently pretty tough with a knife and everything, but I can't see a ballerina bringing a big intimidation factor.

Of course, since they undoubtedly monitor the webs, I should probably have someone taste my food for me for awhile after having said that. But seriously, I'm a little tired of the tough guy act coming from Twinkle-toes.

While we're on the subject of sissies, it's simultaneously hilarious and irritating to see people whining about this. You pansies are pretty hilarious when slinging crap about other people, but let a little of it come your way and you need a pacifier and a box of Kleenex.

Apparently it's not just the seniors who need to take the shopping cart down the Depends aisle.

Monday, August 3, 2009

A Real American Disappointment

GI Joe comes out this week, and I don't think there's going to be any way they'll get around ticking off GI Joe fans (of which I am one, having spent many an hour in my childhood playing with them and watching the cartoon). And admittedly, we're a harder fan base than normal to please because there are basically three or four types of Joe fan. You have the fans of the comics and fans of the cartoon show, which have some key differences. Both of us would fall into the category of fans of the toys, but there are also two toys: you have the Real American Hero line from the 80s, and the original Joe figure.

Focusing on the comics, cartoon, and Real American Heroes toys, here's what I want in a live action Joe movie: I want recognizable characters who are true to their origins. I want the organizations to remain true to their origins and purposes. I want to see some sweet-a vehicles, and I want crap to blow up. It really shouldn't be that difficult.

All the trailers look okay, and the action looks like it will be great, but here are my hang ups.

1) They botched the characters. According to things I've read, what they've done to the characters in this flick would be like making a live action Beavis and Butt-head movie about two borderline geniuses and their research at M.I.T. Or doing a Lincoln biopic that focuses on his career as a slave trader in the orient. You can't just completely change characters or their origins and think it'll be okay.

2) The characters are unrecognizable. Snake Eyes looks pretty sweet, and the Baronness looks great (and freaking hot). After that, I want to throw up in my mouth. And I've only seen the Joes thus far; I haven't seen any pics of Destro in the mask or Cobra Commander. (One caveat: her costume sucks, but Scarlett looks pretty good, too. Yowza.)

3) Hiring a pacifist to be the resident alpha-male of GI Joe is liking having Hugo Chavez dress as Uncle Sam.

4) GI Joe was America's daring, highly trained special missions force that's purpose was to defend human freedom against Cobra. They fought for freedom wherever there's trouble. So you can't change them into an international fighting unit just to make the Frenchies happy and expect me to like it. I don't. It sucks.

5) I'm going to be alone on this, and that's okay. And if I had more than five readers, I'd catch hell for it, but that's okay, too. I actually have no problem with Marlon Wayans, other than a lot of his movies are pretty gross. I'd even be okay with him in this flick if he was somebody else. I'd have been perplexed if he was, say, Stalker, but I could live with it. But he's Ripcord.'s the thing. You know how on SNL they have a white guy play Obama and people get pissed off about it? You know how people get pissed off any time a white guy plays a minority, or a minority character is changed into a white guy? Well, Ripcord's white and there's a black guy playing him. And ultimately, it's not that big of a deal, but like I said, I want to recognize characters. If you're used to seeing a white guy and he shows up and he's not white anymore, it's confusing.

Ultimately, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to go see this, knowing it's going to suck. I'm going to pay my $7 to knowingly be disappointed.

You know how everyone complains about Lucas and Spielberg destroying their childhood? Well, it looks like the 70s are destroyed and we're full speed ahead in pillaging the 80s.