Thursday, May 28, 2009

Headlines

You stay classy, San Diego.

Texas, let's be honest: we have a love/hate relationship. You gave us Strait, Jones, and half a dozen other amazing singers, and a governor willing to stand up to Obama. You also gave us a bunch of jackasses who have an overinflated sense of state pride and hordes of people who can't drive or park. But really, I expected more out of you than this.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Salute to Real Men

It's not hard to find real men in country music. Most of the guy singers qualify. There are a few exceptions, though. I don't have anything against Keith Urban, for example, but the guy paints his toenails. That sort of thing just doesn't cut it for real men.

However, there's one guy that we should take the time to recognize. And that guy is Trace Adkins.



He sings about hot chicks, hard work, the military, and vehicles. He can also sing tender songs about love and family without anybody questioning his manhood (because let's face it, he'd kick the crap out of them). If the hit songs and Opry membership weren't enough, he's also had his nose nearly detached in a car accident, his fingers severed and reattached, survived a hurricane on an off-shore oil rig, and been shot through the heart and lungs by his ex-wife. And he's lived to tell/sing about it all.

If that doesn't say "real man," I don't know what does.

P.S. I also highly recommend his book, A Personal Stand: Observations and Opinions from a Freethinking Roughneck.

Friday, May 22, 2009

How the blog got its name

If you needed an example of bat sh** crazy, here you go:

I took a look at a video that was highlighted on a site I frequent. The video is here

The comments, of course, were full of rage. One person said, and I quote, "And, using innocent kids to promote that kind of small-minded bigotry, you pathetic, stupid, ridiculous idiots. You should be ashamed of yourself."

Note that it's idiots, plural, but yourself, singular. But I digress.

So I responded with, and I quote: "Typical. Anyone with a different opinion than yours is a bigoted, pathetic, stupid, ridiculous idiot. Thanks for reminding us about tolerance."

Pointed, yes. Rude? Not particularly.

I got the following response: "You're a bigoted, pathetic, stupid, ridiculous idiot ______. Kill yourself."

While I'll give them credit for brevity, I think they proved my point.

Pop Quiz!

See if you can match the Democrat to the scandal!

1) I admitted plagiarizing campaign speeches.
A. Pres. Barack Obama
B. VP Joe Biden
C. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid
D. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi

2)I bought a house for $300,000 under market value from a convicted felon who was under federal indictment at the time.
A. Obama
B. Biden
C. Reid
D. Pelosi

3)I labeled the Abramoff scandal as "a Republican scandal," even though I took over $60,000 from Abramoff-related groups.
A. Obama
B. Biden
C. Reid
D. Pelosi

4) I claimed Catholic doctrine made no determination on when life begins.
A. Obama
B. Biden
C. Reid
D. Pelosi

5) I famously declared the Iraq War was lost and then voted to continue funding the war a month later.
A. Obama
B. Biden
C. Reid
D. Pelosi

6) I plagiarized a paper in law school from an article published in a law review.
A. Obama
B. Biden
C. Reid
D. Pelosi

7) I claimed a Time magazine article about a man who tried to use chemicals to lighten his skin had a tremendous impact on my life, although such an article never appeared in Time.
A. Obama
B. Biden
C. Reid
D. Pelosi

8) I pledged to lead reforms against earmarks and followed by inserting a $25 million earmark into a bill that would allow for ports to be renovated in an area where my spouse owns four separate commercial real estate properties.
A. Obama
B. Biden
C. Reid
D. Pelosi

Answers (which you probably know): 1-B, 2-A, 3-C, 4-D, 5-C, 6-B, 7-A, 8-D


Doesn't that make you want to sit back and listen to them continue to go on about ethics and values?

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Marketing at its finest

Would anybody NOT shop here?




(Hat tip to IMAO)

Greg Gutfeld: En Fuego

Once again, Greg Gutfeld nails it.

Btw, I think I called him "Gutfield" in my previous post. My bad.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Internet/texting protocol and how to properly deride someone

When texting or using Facebook, Twitter, or whatever else, there are certain protocols for typing that help get your message across. Using all caps means you're yelling. "lol" means you're laughing. But there are newer things cropping up, and that's why I'm asking for your help.

One thing I'm noticing is that people use, "mwuah ha ha," to show evil laughter. "Bwahaha," or "Ba ha ha," seem to show uproarious laughter. How do you show derisive or sarcastic laughter? You know, that laugh that lets someone know they're an idiot?

Does, "he..hehe..hehehe..AHAHAHAHA!" work? How do you do the, "You've got to be kidding me?" laugh in text speak?

Guidelines for nukes

I've been prompted to consider my position on nuclear weapons---who should have them, when they should be used, etc. I can pretty much sum up my position in one sentence.

If you're not tall enough to pee in a standard urinal, you don't get a nuke.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Question...

If you have twins that are half brothers, does that make them just brothers mathematically?

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Salute to Real Men

Let's face it, men are a dying breed. Oh, sure, as long as humans are around there will be people who meet the genital requirements that allow them to pee in the men's room. But there's more to being a man than having the right plumbing.

In an era where women fantasize about metros and dudes wear mascara, it's important for us to recognize real men where/when we find them. We need to give them their due and remind people of their awesomeness. Maybe then more of our urinal using imposters will see the error of their ways and join us. And maybe chicks will get a clue and hold out for men who can love them and defend them rather than hog their mirrors.

Of course, there are obvious examples of masculinity. The Duke is the most obvious. Therefore, he won't be a part of this tribute, for two reasons. 1) That's a standard the rest of us could only dream of living up to. 2) I don't have the talent to begin to give the Duke a proper tribute. He holds a hallowed place in manhood.

Eastwood would be right there behind him except for that whole Madison County thing.

Anyway, let us begin to take masculinity back by pausing to admire one of the truly great men of the past twenty years. I present to you, Al Bundy.



Friday, May 8, 2009

Video of the Week (Month? Quarter-year?)

Harvey at IMAO posted this, and I assume he dug it up somewhere. One of my cohorts has posted it as well. But it's excellent, check it out.

And yes, I know a video post is the laziest way to update a blog after not posting for three months. Changes and more frequent updates soon!





(Hat tip to IMAO)